Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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