Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
her vagine was all disorganized.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
