Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just gargled with NyQuil
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I need a beard to bite.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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