Me too!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You ruined the universe
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
