Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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