There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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