Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
