We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
