At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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