I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
