I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i believe in u and ur pee
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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