She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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