Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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