Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
