so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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