I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
