Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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