I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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