I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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