What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
