Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
