do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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