I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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