The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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