he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
