i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
