Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
how drunk are you?
Several
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
