FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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