He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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