i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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