You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
