It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
try to milk me bitch
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
