butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
