So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My life is pants optional.
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