sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
