After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
