we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
