my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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