I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
