when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this hospital has no fireball
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
