as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
