Sry I called you an 8
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
