Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So many bounce houses so little time
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
