It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
