i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
