he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
