you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
