Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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