and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
