He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
